Overcoming the 3 Key Fears that Hold Us Back from Success

As women in midlife and leadership, we often navigate lots of challenges, both personal and professional. While our expertise, compassion, and dedication are unquestionable, there are moments when our confidence wavers. In my experience, I've found that three key fears are the primary culprits in holding us back from the success we want:

• The fear of failure

• The fear of success or being visible

• The fear of being judged.

Let's explore these fears and how we can overcome them.

1. Fear of Failure

The fear of failure is perhaps the most common obstacle we face. This fear can be paralyzing, preventing us from taking risks and pursuing our goals. We worry about making mistakes, disappointing others, or not living up to our expectations. However, it's important to remember that failure is a natural part of the learning process.

Every successful person has experienced setbacks and failures along the way. I was at a talk recently and famed Entrepreneur + Dragon Steven Bartlett shared that he has a failing department in his company because the more you fail the more you learn and succeed

How to Overcome It:

• Shift Your Perspective: View failure as a learning opportunity rather than a setback. Each failure provides valuable lessons that can guide you toward success. Journal Prompt: What setbacks and failures have helped me grow and get better?

• Celebrate Effort: Acknowledge and celebrate your efforts, regardless of the outcome. This positive reinforcement can boost your confidence and motivation.

• Explore EFT Tapping to regulate your nervous system.

2. Fear of Success or Being Visible

While it may seem counterintuitive, the fear of success can be just as debilitating as the fear of failure. This fear often stems from concerns about increased visibility, responsibility, and the pressure to maintain high standards. Sometimes we are worried we will “outshine” our family or culture which can seem unacceptable. As we achieve success, we may worry about becoming a target for criticism or losing the balance in our lives - perhaps worried about being chained tour our bones or desks, or overwhelmed with stress and lists.

How to Overcome It:

• Embrace Visibility: Recognize that your success can inspire and empower others. Embracing your achievements allows you to serve as a role model and leader. Journal Prompt: What does my version of success look and feel like? What does my day/week look like?

• Set Boundaries: Decide how you will manage the increased responsibilities that come with success. What can you automate or who can help you become more successful and the workload changes?

• Stay True to your Values: Remember your core values and the reasons behind your ambitions. Remembering your why will help you navigate the challenges that come with success. Write down your North Star and Values (if you don’t have these yet, Email me here for a link to a free video training)

3. Fear of Being Judged: What Will Other People Think?

The fear of being judged is deeply rooted in our need for social acceptance and approval. We often worry about how others perceive us, which can lead to self-doubt and hesitation for fear of being cast out of the group.This fear can prevent us from expressing our true selves and relates to visibility also

How to Overcome It:

• Focus on Self-Approval: Shift your focus from seeking external validation to building self-approval and avoid relying on outside validation to feel worthy of success.

• Surround Yourself with Support: Cultivate a supportive network of friends, family, and colleagues who encourage you. Find a community and a coach ( hint: I am available if you need one! See Below!)

• Practice Vulnerability: Allow yourself to be vulnerable and authentic. Although this may risk you losing friends and alienating people, the deeper connection to yourself will foster the confidence you need to find the people who truly accept you. Journal Prompt: What am I most afraid of what people will say? Ask yourself: Is it true?

Moving Forward with Confidence

Understanding and addressing these fears is crucial for our personal and professional growth. As women in midlife and leadership, we have the experience, wisdom, and resilience to overcome these challenges.

Failure is only a part of the learning and growth process. Being visible draws new clients and opportunities in, and the worse judgments we have are the ones we hold for ourselves. Remember, it's never too late to pursue your dreams and make a meaningful impact.

Contact me today for a complimentary session to see how you can get to your vision faster.