How to boost your confidence in 3 easy steps you can actually do now
Last week I delivered a free workshop called: Cultivate Confidence - Master your Mind through Transition or Change. The webinar was so popular I decided to share the key exercise with you here, so let me dive right in! Scroll to the bottom to get a free worksheet so you can follow along with each step outlined below.
What is confidence (and what it’s not)?
First, I’m going to bust a myth here: Confidence isn’t a mysterious quality some people are born with and others got left out — it's a skill you can develop with practice. Whether it's speaking up in meetings, making new friends, or mastering a hobby, confidence is within reach for anyone willing to put in a little intention and effort and you can master the art of confidence to unlock your life of purpose + fulfillment.
Confidence is something that ebbs and flows through different parts of your life, and although you may feel like you have lost confidence, I assure you, it’s in there… it might just be hiding. As I said, it’s far from being a static state, self-reliance or self-assurance is a dynamic skill that can be worked on. I repeat: it’s not a have/have not feeling; it's a skill honed through dedication and perseverance.
I always say that many things are simple but they may not be easy, so I’m going to break it down into three simple steps to help you build that self-confidence you are looking for.
Step 1: Define what you actually want to build confidence in?
Alright, first things first. if you have been here before, you know I am all about CLARITY! Getting clear, setting parameters, and defining is KEY for me, and confidence is no different!
What area do you want to boost your confidence in? Is it public speaking, social situations, or maybe something more specific like mastering a new skill? Take a moment to pinpoint exactly where you want to shine. Write it down. Be as specific as you can. If you want to build confidence in a few areas, repeat this 3 step process for each area.
Real-Life Example: When I was moving into this new field, I needed confidence in how to introduce myself in social situations as I trasitioned and pivoted careers.
Step 2: Define What Confidence in this area Looks Like
Now that you know what you're aiming for, let's get clear on what confidence in that area actually means to you. Where do you want to go? What does it look like? Sound like? Again, define where you want to go.
Picture it: Are you standing tall, speaking with authority, effortlessly navigating conversations? Or maybe it’s more subtle — feeling calm and collected, not letting nerves get the best of you. Whatever it looks like, paint that picture in your mind and then write it down. Is this a big leap for you? Or are you looking at a small incremental shift? Write down as many details of what this confidence really looks like. Extra points for getting super descriptive.
Real-Life Example: I defined confidence in this as being able to clearly present myself in social situations as my new role working with midlife women in transition helping them to create a positive impact.
step 3: Choose the Smallest Doable Step
Great! Now it’s time to take action! But don’t overwhelm yourself — let’s start small.
What’s the tiniest step you can take toward building confidence in your chosen area? Maybe it’s raising your hand to share an idea in a small group setting, striking up a conversation with a friendly stranger, or simply practicing a new skill for 10 minutes a day. Pick something you can do today, no matter how small - and then DO IT! Give yourself some time to build this skill, and then when it feels comfortable, move on to the next doable step. I always reccomend 30 days. Check out my article here on keeping commitments
Real-Life Example: To practice, I wrote down my role title and rehearsed it OVER AND OVER in the mirror, in the car, to my kid…. Then finally in social situations. I fumbled, foibled, and fell, but eventually, the words got easier and as I believed in myself, I have become fully able to embody my role as a coach and leader in this area and say it every time I introduce myself to someone new.
a note on Action
I am talking about aligned action, which means clear targeted steps that are moving you in the direction of your dreams, that are helping you move forward not stay stuck. Scrolling social media in the name of research is not aligned action, that’s procrastination and it’s not helping you.
If the Step you are taking is leaving you exhausted and unfulfilled - you guessed it… it’s not ALIGNED ACTION.
One of the best ways to take aligned action and stay consistent in integrating these steps is to have a community and accountability.
There are many tools to develop, build, and maintain confidence that is why I created EMBOLDEN a 6-week program starting June 3d to develop your Confidence + Inner Leadership to help you live with more purpose.
You can do this!
By breaking it down into these three steps — defining your goal, picturing what the successful version looks like, and taking that first small step — you’re laying the foundation for a more confident you.
Remember, confidence is a skill that can come and go. It can be subject to what is going on around you so when you feel your buoyancy ebb, return to your worksheet and start again. Celebrate each little victory along the way, and before you know it, you’ll be radiating that self-assured energy in every aspect of your life. Apply these 3 steps to any aspect of your personal or professional life and let me know how you get on! Share with me on @balancebytahira or email me!